Bury This

I exist for you.

That's the saddest part. Not to be able to own my very will to do as I please.

And I'm shaking all the time, trembling, fearing its undo-able, wondering if its a lifelong state I should resign myself to.

I bury this. Hiding it. Folding it softly between the folds of old words. Part of me wants to be released and also part of me feels a sort of freedom from it. It doesn't make sense. There's a contradiction in it.

L Defined

Logic

A skewed mentality where labor is the self-imposed responsibility to protect him from any harm, discomfort, or flaw. Always feeling regrettably lower than a parasite when failing to complete this overwhelming urge to please (see also Harm, Reasonable and Unreasonable Concepts of). Trying to put one last and giving too much to continue longer than short bursts.

Loneliness

The feeling of losing oneself. This seems to come about after a submissive act. The imperceptible pieces of one’s ego taken in small shards, and when it becomes clear that this is what is being confused for loneliness, it won’t matter (see also Submission, Act of; Compromise, Fair or Unfair; Despair, Tears of).

Lost words

The words that become the magical lines you repeat in your mind and dissect for a deeper meaning. That meaning becomes the crutch by which hangs all your dreams for future possibilities (see also Love Notes, Imagined or Real). Years later the derived meaning is used as a reason to continue the unreturned affection.

Love

An unreal expectation. Known only in the form of one’s discomfort, tears, or submission (see also Unrealistic Expectations). It’s the hope of actual love that keeps one waiting, gripping to those slight glimmer of love in subtle memories replayed in one’s mind (see also Lost Words; Acts of Kindness). What is love, again?

Loyalty

Defined by him. And his twisted mind…