Hands empty

There is some music that seems more valid and plays upon a part of me that isn't as touched by some songs when I listen without earphones. I feel that same dynamic applies to you. In my mind, you are immense, you are perfection, you are that sweet, intensive voice wooing me into the dark, but the reality is that you are the presence that is fleeting, temporary, and resistant to discussing the stickier parts of a relationship. So with the earphones on I romanticize you, slowly sink back into old habits of waiting for you, pleading for you. Thinking of you without the earphones, I see the backlash I have withstood hoping for the paradise you promise. At the end, my hands empty.

I like your presence in my life. It creates this confidence in me and resilience that empowers me to follow my mind. When you fail to re-emerge, I feel that hollowness in the foundation of myself that hinders me. Its like a foundation that I can't build up because the of the missing pieces of you in my life to build on. I look for other pieces to fill in the gaps, to make me semi-complete but they don't fit. At the end, my hands empty.