Going down

I fell
         ......
               .......
                       ................................
                                                       ...

in love. Not in you, exactly, but the deeper part of you that grows and changes and will one day become. I fell in love with the specks of you hidden within the spurts of vulnerability you showed. I fell deeper when you would put all your cards on the table. I swooned over your motivation to pursue what you wanted. That pushed me to do the same for myself. Even now, I'm ... at a loss. My want of you is deeper than you. It transcends because all these years and failed attempts later it hasn't waned. And I'm baffled by it. Why doesn't it disappear? Why does it haunt me? 

There are three options:
- it's real
- I'm in love with the concept of you more than you. Which doesn't make a difference! I see the difference in how I treat you. I don't hold up barriers with you because I have faith in you.
- I like this game.