Thursday, March 12, 2015

Game Time

I was on my laptop. Home. Waiting for her.

I heard her come in. She had that pinkness still on her face, a sign of crying.

"Are you alright?"

"Umm...I was thinking on the drive home that I should do more to protect you."

"Wait. What?"

"You think I'm gonna give into you totally in this way you crave, and I'm not. Why am I gonna string you along, waste your time, waste your effort,"

I slam my laptop closed. "This again." Raising my voice. "You spend time alone, and you come back with this shit!"

"Then what are we doing?"

"Thinking logically and long-term?"

"Yes."

"Why decide now? Why think about it and discuss it now?"

"Because you want me invested in this, invested in you, and knowing the direction of my investment is what I need to continue here."

"Oh, now you're demanding things." I wave my hand, away with her request. I notice I'm standing.

"No!" She steps forward. "You wouldn't take a job without knowing the job requirements and responsibilities. Well, that's the sort of direction I need. You can plan and take on so many things because you don't need to calculate me into the equation, but I don't feel that way. I do enjoy thinking things through with you, turning to you for advice or insight, but for me to consider what you say, I need a direction on this investment. I need to know the value of what you say. I want to know if what you say is meant as a long-term consideration or short-term."

I cover my eyes and wipe my hands down my face. "Here you go with this crazy talk I can't decipher."

"Then you just answered my question. Your reaction right there colored the direction you are going towards. So I need to leave. I feel you're invested in this, but not in the same direction that I am."

"No. Stay." I calmly let out. "You want a consideration. This is my consideration: Let's talk about this and figure it out. Lay all our cards on the table, and figure this out."

Just like that. She wilts. Her defenses gone, and I say this with a bit of embarrassment, I slightly melt at how easily her will sheds. 

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