Going down

I fell
         ......
               .......
                       ................................
                                                       ...

in love. Not in you, exactly, but the deeper part of you that grows and changes and will one day become. I fell in love with the specks of you hidden within the spurts of vulnerability you showed. I fell deeper when you would put all your cards on the table. I swooned over your motivation to pursue what you wanted. That pushed me to do the same for myself. Even now, I'm ... at a loss. My want of you is deeper than you. It transcends because all these years and failed attempts later it hasn't waned. And I'm baffled by it. Why doesn't it disappear? Why does it haunt me? 

There are three options:
- it's real
- I'm in love with the concept of you more than you. Which doesn't make a difference! I see the difference in how I treat you. I don't hold up barriers with you because I have faith in you.
- I like this game.

All my life, I've searching in the dark (guy's pov)

Kissing on this campus of brick barriers, high enough to sit on, have some fun make-out sessions. Following her hand in hand to her building, anticipating how much further this could go in private. Maybe that's why I'm restricted to public kissing. Stopping in a shaded walkway, turns and locks lips with me. Finally. I feel I can take a full breath and enjoy it. Her mouth cold (from drinking soda) against my warm tongue, my tongue searches for the coolness, brushing over each millimeter, taking it in, claiming the territory. I want to have free roam over her body. I hook my fingers into a belt loop on jeans over each hip, pull up gently, she gets the hint, jumps up the ledge while my laced fingers follow her body. Momentarily off my lips, I dive for another stepping into the embrace of her knees, my face at chest level. Hunched above me, her hair shrouds us in moving shadows. I take advantage of this slight privacy. My hand roams to her neck right above the hollow of her collar bone, gently jerk her jaw up to nestle a couple kisses on her neck and back up to devour her mouth. I want more. I need more to keep me satisfied longer, hit that peak of calm, and claim a delight. Inhaling kisses as dependence for breath. Eyes closed, searching in the dark, trying to reconcile how much I need more than this. I need the total control to have what I crave. Hoping a kiss, the perfect kiss will convince and tear away your will and self-control, live in the abyss I create, not be able to help yourself but submit to me and my desires. So I kiss you as tenderly as I can, as aggressively as possible, and as deeply as you allow.

How long must I wait for you?