Hi,

Bitterness has become a well-known visitor of mine. It won't leave. It sits on my tongue. It pounds on most thoughts, clouds the future, and refuses to vacate. The thought I simmer down to most times is "why can't I be better?" That's the blister I'm faced with. Some days I'm glad to be alive, where mesmerizing things exist like thunderstorms, libraries, music; the next day responsibility appears. I always wanna do and don't do. Nothing has changed in that realm of thinking, walking on the college campus one day to the music building, a sanctuary untouched and still to this day unreachable by me, I realized unless something changed drastically I would always live in want and not ever become satisfied, at least, momentarily.

5/17/10, Laredo